Parenting is a touchy subject for most. In fact, say the wrong thing about someone’s parenting skills and there could be a heated dispute the second the words roll off your tongue. Being a good parent is different for everyone. After all every child is unique and requires a different approach. My question today though,is are we really being the best parents we can be?

I am not a perfect parent by any means. However, this is an issue that I am passionate about and therefore have to speak my mind. The day I became a dad for the first time, things changed forever. Friendships disappeared, views changed and emotions I’ve never felt before are suddenly as serious as a heart attack. On the other hand I have noticed so many parents treating their children as commodities or sometimes worse, FRIENDS!

Successful parenting is something that has to be learned. Are we going to be perfect? No. The idea isn’t to be a perfect parent, just a little better. I am no expert, but I believe that we learn from how we were raised and it’s a choice to make adjustments in how we parent our children. There has to be a reason kids are becoming more; disrespectful, vulgar and careless.

We so easily blame our children’s behavior on society. But in reality who is society? Society is us, our kids and our neighbors. Now obviously you can’t control what your neighbors do, but you are responsible for two of those equations. A half-way decent society depends on our parenting skills.

I can’t even count the times I’ve heard teenagers dropping the F-bomb in the store. Of course we’ve all done it, but when I was a kid I knew it was wrong and didn’t do it in public. Obviously the majority of those kids aren’t using that language in their parents’ presence, but if they had a little restraint they wouldn’t be doing it so every one could hear it.

I always hung out with a pretty rough bunch. I was in the Navy and terms like ‘cussing like a sailor’ as you know, didn’t come out of thin air. It always seemed though, I was the voice of reason. I was always telling them, “Watch your mouth” or “Don’t smoke by the door”, because there were families around. Not saying I was above their behavior, because I’ve done my share. The difference, I think, was the values my mother instilled in me at a very young age.

A quick example – I can easily remember going into a grocery store with my mom and wanting to open the door. I think I was about 6 years old. I had to put all my body weight into it, but I got it open. The first thing I did was darted inside, only to hear my mom say, “You know a gentleman always holds the door for a lady”. From that point on I always did. I always held the door for my mom, sisters, every girlfriend I’ve had and without skipping a beat, for my wife.

Something so simple, yet it has stuck with me for 24 years now. She didn’t have to beat it into me or force me to do it. Certain things come natural to children, we just have to know how to encourage those good behaviors. Her parenting has shown me so many things, I know for sure, I want my son to learn. We can’t force kids to be good all the time, as I quickly learned with my son. We can only encourage and instill good behavior.

I’ll end with this – Think about how easily something is instilled through repetition. I say excuse me, after I belch because I’ve heard it said over and over. I say please and thank you, even when others see it as unnecessary. I’m the ***hole you’re cursing out, because I allowed a car to pull out from a parking lot in front of me. These are such simple things parents are missing. Kids aren’t saying please and thank you anymore. Think about how nice things would be if people learned to have some manners once again.

I have probably held the door for thousands already. Out of the thousands I’ve probably received 50 thank you’s. Even though sometimes I would think to myself, ‘Man, not even a thank you?’, it still doesn’t keep me from doing it. Most of my old friends would call me a doormat, but it still didn’t stop me. The reason it hasn’t deterred me from continuing to do it, is because it’s the right thing to do and a little friendliness never killed anyone.

Well this was just a little rant that has built up inside of me, but it’s a topic that I will be posting more about. I want to hear what every one’s opinions are, opposing or supporting. What are your views on parenting? Should we be blamed for our childrens behavior? Is it our fault society is a mess right now? Whatever comes to mind feel free to add a comment.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.